No matter where you are, who you are, or whats going on……. we are all sharing one moon, one sun, and one sky…..& the best part is that we cant control ANY of them. On the other hand, where do we begin regarding the unique and countless raindrops, the endless stars and transforming transient clouds? The Creator is simply amazing!
So I’m having a bi-polar moment! I want to cry but I’m too happy. Well I guess it’s not truly bi-polar because I actually want to cry tears of joy BECAUSE I’m happy. Anyways, I came hope to a package at my door that I wasn’t expecting. When I opened it, I was quite surprised and tickled that a dear friend of ours (she was hubby’s friend before we met), sent me a beautiful card and a jar of candy just based on a facebook status I posted last week detailing my endurance of the chocolate lover blues. This is such a thoughtful and sweet gesture to express kind sentiments of how highly she thinks of me and how happy she is that I make hubby glow. On top of that she is a woman that I admire and enjoy. A great gift from a great gal!
Somewhere in the throws of wanting to cry because this was so delightful and being so psyched up about a satiating portion of Hershey’s kisses, I was grateful that I have married well. Not meaning the traditional definition of the financial or social status of affluence of one’s mate (though my baby does meet my criteria), but in the sense that he has some of the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing women as good friends and I have been blessed to inherit them as my friends too! My sweetheart is rich in spirit and he attracts that likeness in others.
It humbled me to remember a time years ago when the question was on the table of whether we should transition our friendship to a romantic level. I unabashedly expressed to him that one reason for my apprehension on moving forward was because he had so many female friends and I wasn’t interested in the drama that might bring. I had never dated a man with female friends, and not so many at that. And I’m not the type to be jealous, insecure, or distrustful (inappropriately or frequently) of males or females in any kind of relationship. But I did pause to consider what a relationship could look like with such circumstances. I am glad that maturity, communication, and not letting negative stereotypes dictate my choice to date, love, and marry a great guy who has unselfishly shared the bounty of beauties that now enrich both of our lives. I married very well!
I believe in the power of training ourselves to become who want to be. So I have trained myself, and am still in the practice of recognizing things to be grateful for everyday. Big or small. Whatever floats MY boat! When you live focused on your blessings, it’s hard to get caught up on less important, more negative things. So I’m sharing a few things that made my list this week and I hope that you will share yours too. In no particular order of importance or occurrence, here goes:
*THE SOUND OF RAIN. I just LOVE the rain! It is divine in so many ways. Thanks & shout out to God for knowing and giving us what we need when we need it!
*A GOOD CUP OF PLAIN TEA. I’m a tea junkie, with a tea drawer, and have tried teas from around the world in every flavor and oigin possible. I love iced tea, hot tea, tea houses, loose tea, tea lattes, tea paraphernalia, tea inforamation….. just all crap tea! But sometimes a perfectly brewed cup of decaffeinated Lipton (yes – the orange pekoe & black blend from your grandmother’s day) just does it for me! Mmmm!
*THE UNDO BUTTON that saved my ass just now from deleting everything. No further explanation needed.
*SUAVE $2.00 BODY WASH IN MANGO MANDARIN. I am a product junkie and also receive a lot of gifts…specifically of the bath & shower ilk. I don’t know what it is about me, but I get bath, body & shower products as gifts like it’s tattooed on my forehead! Maybe I’m the girl with B.O. (body odor…in case you’ve never heard) that nobody wants to have the hard convo with. If so, please inbox me. I can handle the truth. And this is not knocking the gift givers. I love it! I get to experiment and enjoy stuff I’d hardly buy for myself because I’ve been blessed with fine friends who splurge and buy me the good stuff, always better and more than I’d buy for my own stinky butt! But I did recently buy the Suave Body Wash and the scent and lather factor held it’s own to make my day – just like my fancy brands! It was right on time when I tried it. Just what I needed. A simplistic but good fix! I love a $2.00 fix that can hang with the best of them! It may not be anybody else’s joy, buy I swear if I put it in small fancy jars and pretty paper at Christmas and hand labeled it organically homemade, I could get away with murder! Lol! Why does my mind work this way??? Devious in nature. It’s probably why karma has me as the stinky girl nobody wants to address! Oh well, keep sending me those body product gifts! And no, this is not an invitation / excuse for my luxe gift-giving friends to start skimping and giving me the cheap crap. Keep the standards high please! Moving on!
*A GOOD CRY. Sometimes you just need to get it out. I tend to be very analytical & very thorough about understanding my feelings. It’s where and how I like to live….in those trenches. But no matter how much I can mentally process and handle all things emotionally healthy..im my mind, words, and deeds …. I still love a good cry! It’s powerful, relieving, the physical response to what you can no longer keep inside. It’s a natural manifestation of what we may not have words for. That’s a beautiful gift from God! An outlet. Be it over a silly commercial, being fed up over the state of the world we live in, a good Netflix, an old or new convo that you’ll never have in real life with someone but will monologue out loud safely when no one else is around, or whatever!!!! A real and good cry is something you just can’t buy! Priceless! Side-note…but I am also grateful for my own neuroticism of what money can facilitate: keeping every room in my apt appropriately stocked with tissues, napkins, paper towels, and / or wipes. Whenever I’m feeling a good outpour coming on, no need to hunt for supplies or break the moment with relocating woes. Chances are, my soak-up needs will be conveniently met to encourage my own always-welcomed cry-baby! So if you’re ever in my hood and want the freedom, space, and appropriate paper options to capture your tear-to-snot ratio needs and a judgment free zone to let the water works flow, I do take reservations!
*UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. My medical circumstances have robbed me of sleeping through the night for a while now. This is NOT what I am normally accustomed to. I consider myself a professional on how to get some great sleep. So I miss it! But in the meantime, I have managed to get some relief at my weekly treatment appointments. It’s not a lot of sleep, but just sleeping without having to get up literally every 30 minutes or so, was a real treat. I got to flirt with the other phases of sleep that I have desperately missed and even found myself drooling a few times! In the productivity of sleepland – that’s HOT!!! My nurse must have caught my vibe because she asked if I wanted the lights out. YES and please!!! I’m now on the hunt to facilitate this set-up at home so I can get back to my regularly scheduled sleep program, or somewhere close to a compromise. But in the meantime, I am fondly reflecting and grateful for the brief but uninterrupted zzzz’s I did rendezvous with. Till we meet again my friends, till we meet again!
So those are my APPRECIATIVES as of lately. What are YOU grateful for???
Everyday we move forward with things we have to do or want to accomplish. Today & on other occasions I have been reminded that as focused and consumed as I can be on the things on my to-do list, I am actually trying to also live a life of purpose ON purpose.
So there are small moments or incidents that a higher power aligns itself to my inner being to refocus my attention on these basic beliefs: ‘We all have gifts inside of us. Our gifts are not for ourselves. And while I am the strongest advocate for self-preservation, we are to be unselfish with our gifts!’ I think often we conveniently give our gifts to our favorite people or try to morph our gifts into something profitable. That’s not wrong, but what does it look like when we are a planet of people who wake up in the morning looking forward to who the day will show us to share our gifts with? If anybody we encountered was a candidate. If experiences and visions led us to live, respond, create, and love in a way that our focus was to share our gifts.
On a recent visit to my Mom’s, we arrived at her house after being out all day & upon arriving at the door she noticed a huge bag of peaches. No note, no name. No clue. Just a big bag of peaches hanging on the door waiting for her. It was not random because getting to Mom’s door requires finding or knowing how to enter this hidden backway to her address, walking past the car port, opening the gate, and coming inside the yard. So somebody went out of their way to leave those peaches for her on purpose.
Later we found that they were from a friend who participates in a food co-op. She pays a small fee to get a bunch of naturally farmed produce on a monthly basis. It’s never a guarantee of what will be in the co-op share that month and you get what you get in terms of amount or variety. So Mom’s friend realizing that she couldn’t eat all the peaches herself decided to give them away. This was a good match because Mom loves to eat fruit, makes a mean cobbler, and always has people that she can share good things with (insert photo of peach-loving daughter here).
It’s like that! We should see, own, and operate with our gifts in the mind and heart that whatever gifts we have are not to be kept to ourselves. Somebody out there needs what we have. We should realize the unlimited natural source that these gifts come from, our good fortune to have access to them, and then be inclined to give them away….unselfishly. Why hold tight and hoard or waste that which you do not own??? We should be facing every dawn intentionally clearing a space to say ‘May my heart and mind lead me to people, places, and things that need my gifts. Let me move out of the way and be selfless enough to recognize who is in need and can benefit. And when I encounter that moment, let me wrap my gift in love as I share it, that the receiver may be like a kid on Christmas morning (or a sweet lady finding a bag of peaches at her door – lol).
The thing I find most beautiful in this concept is that while we all love a great gift, usually the thing that blows us away more is the actual giving. The gift is wonderful, but I am touched when people think of me and act on wanting to share with me. That is the gift! That we acknowledge and remember each other. That we live wanting to bring goodness and joy to someone else. That’s love and if you’re blessed, that’s life!
I work daily still to share unselfishly, but am grateful for the reminders & nudges to keep me focused on living with this purpose in mind. What are your gifts? How and when do you share them? Have you trained yourself to be consumed daily with sharing your gifts unselfishly? What has been your perspective as a giver and a recipient? I shared my perspective. What is yours?
Today as I raced from the parking garage to my doctor appointment, I realize I had done my whole car-routine of putting on make up and taming my wig, but had yet to put any gloss or coating on my lips. This was essential before I turned the corner on to the main runway of 1st Ave. because otherwise my beat face looked like a freshly inbombed corpse, ready for a funeral with all of death covered except the lips…and I did not want to show up to my appointment with ‘the death lips’. You know…grey, pasty, dry and dotted with a little dry white toothpaste juice. Uuuugh!
I blindly fished around in my purse and instead of the latest trial of barely tinted gloss that I was used to, I rediscovered a new lipstick that I had only worn once….RUBY WOO! Its not an everyday color for me because a red so bright has to be done with just the right balance of make-up, wardrobe, hair, accessories, purpose, etc. Otherwise I could eeeeeasily be mistaken for a clown or a drag queen. And not that I don’t love both, but those were not the alter egos I was looking to showcase in today’s entertainment line-up.
So even though I had not planned, assessed, or coordinated wearing this color, I popped the top and got to slathering. I juggled my purse and tote and pulled out a small mirror. Big enough to see my 2 lips and the so-so job I had done of coloring inside the lines. As I turned onto 1st Ave, I finished my paint-by-number lip job. I tossed the tube back in my bag and added shades to my now lively face. I tried to proceed with speed for the last few strides but today, energy was not my strong suit. Oh well, at least if I was a few minutes late, I would be well put together. Right?
I entered the building and started my check-in process. Of course among the required tasks was the old ‘pee-in-a-cup, trick. As I ducked into a restroom, I hung up my bags and just as I was about to dash to the throne, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh dear! The lips were on FIRE!!! I mean 5 alarm blaze! And the hair was on voluminous flow! I looked crazy. Lol. Maybe not to the outside world but by my own standard. I was shocked by the pop of color on my face! I forgot that this lipstick was soooo red! Was it too much?!?
Too much….hhhmmm, now that seems to be a recurring theme in my being. I constantly come up on my own radar as TOO MUCH!!! In fact my self proclaimed moniker (in my mind) is ‘NICKNAME: TOO MUCH.’ I have recognized over time that I like things done in excess to the point of ‘too much.’ Too much mayonaise on my sandwhich, too much eyeliner, earrings with too much sparkle, too many blankets on the bed, too many things on the list, too much money spent, too much rum in the punch, currently eating too much chocolate ice cream as I type this, and the list goes on.
But because I have wrestled this monster before, I knew just how to win! ACCEPT IT! That’s my answer, just accept that I am one who likes things done …. too much! So I smoothed my hair, put on even more RUBY WOO to perfect the inner and outer lip lining, and decided to own it! Today I will be the girl with red lips that are a little too much. I finished my business in the restroom and walked back out onto the catwalk that was Thursday.
And then it started…the compliments and the double takes. First the physician’s assistant…Are you a model? You look so nice. Then the guy on the street who couldn’t look away as I pranced back down 1st Ave, this time with my ‘on purpose’, ‘too much’ red lips. The snobby girl at Dunkin Donuts who was judging and thinking ‘Her lipstick is a little too much for this time of the day, with that outfit.’ She was right and that was fine. They now knew what I knew. This is who I am and I like it…unapologetically. And it made my day!
Is there something about yourself that you have decided to embrace, no matter how quirky or off beat? No matter how much it puts others off or drives you crazy about yourself? Are you struggling to embrace something? About yourself or others? What’s your perspective????
As I rested yesterday, the doorbell rang and our 90 year old neighbor (who lives alone) summonsed me over to her apartment because she felt fogginess around her eyes and thought her blood pressure may be up. This is not unusual and typically has been settled with conversation and sipping something warm before we check her pressure again to confirm that she should feel better. However, lately during these visits, she has begun to express frustration through tears at the realization that age is robbing her of her mind’s sharpness and her body’s ability to work like a machine. Just the other day she bawled inconsolably because she needed help pulling her window shade down after it flipped up to the top.
But today we sit in the silence, holding each other’s hands – hers small, soft and withered with bony knuckles. She strokes my hand with her thumb as if to quench a thirst for the human touch. I stroke her hand back to let her know its ok and I am here. She is not alone. As we sit at her dining table the tears stream and she recalls childhood memories, questions why God would do this to her, and wonders why now she is afraid all after all these years. She slides over the large print Bible we gave her and tells me to read Psalms 90. She recites along as I read.
I fix tea to help calm her and eventually she resigns to prepare herself for bed. I’m curious as she moves around if this is her usual nightly routine or if she is doing something different tonight. What is she anticipating? As she intently picks out a faded night gown, she mumbles scripture to herself nonstop.
After she washes up and puts on her clean sleepwear, she calls me to powder her back with an old-school powder-puff taken from an aged box of a powder they probably don’t make anymore. Something called Ciara. Despite her own sadness at what she is losing mentally and physically as mortality progresses, I am quite impressed with how easily she bends over while seated to put her own socks on. At the same time I’m aware at the melancholy resolve in the air as she gives me her key to come check on her in the morning. As if she wasn’t sure she’d wake up ok, or at all.
What is there to do when you feel your finger on the pulse of life as it fades into death? As we live, we know death is inevitable. Yet when it effects us we still are rarely equipped to handle it. As a spectator, it’s hard to watch someone struggle through each long day when she is alone and sad because life as she knew it is no more. It’s easier to understand how one might not want to die but knows no other way to end what feels like a miserable existence. Since we control little in these circumstances, the most we can do is be there.
As I opened the door and called out her name this morning, I felt mixed emotions. No answer. What was I anticipating? As I approach the bedroom I see her legs & the vintage floral sheets on the bed, but when I called again ….. no answer. As I push open the door I see my friend, body still, eyes open. I call her name one last time and she looks at me as if she doesn’t fully process that I’m there. But alas, it is a new day! She slips out of sleepiness to sit up and hug me….glad that she made it through the night. As am I. Grateful to be a part of this beautiful experience in one’s journey. Feeling the concentration of richness contributed to my own.
Life. Death. Aging. Loneliness….What’s your perspective?
So let me just preface this post with some background for the sake of context (in no particular order of importance):
I grew up in a single-parent home and did not witness consistent examples of marriage up close, not in my family or even in my community.
In 2 yrs my husband & I met, became friends, and then dated. We’ve been married for 4 years.
This post is true today, but could evolve the more I learn over time.
I’ve learned a gazillion things from being married, but I’m just sharing these three for now. I’m not saying they are the most significant.
I’m sharing because I have been having a lot of conversations (as usual) with friends about relationships.
1.) When you marry someone, you are coming in contact with everything they experienced in life…good, bad, & indifferent. Sounds like a no-brainer, but you never know the layers of an onion until you start to peel them back. The logic that people come together as a sum of their life experiences (infinite & ever-evolving) and expect to easily co-exist for the sake of having most of their own needs met (physical, mental, sexual, emotional, and everything else that tickles your fancy) and building a life together is a crazy ass math problem of probability that can either never be solved or is so rare in theory that no one should attempt to solve the probability! It’s a lot. So cut yourself & each other some slack and use the lifetime that you committed to to figure it out….because we’re all just as different as snowflakes, fingerprints, and meatballs and we’re all just trying to get along!
2.) Marriage is saying yes to the unknown. Marriages start with weddings and weddings include vows. I realized as I worked to write my vows that I did not know what to promise because I could not be sure what was ahead of us. So you can imagine the control-freak in me chased her own tail for a while on that one. But I soon came to better understand the cliche catch-all ‘for better / worse, richer / poorer, sickness ‘ health’. But marriage is just that….promising to be what’s needed even though you have no idea what the future holds. It’s taking a risk with no guarantees…but a lot of warm fuzzy stuff like faith, hope, love, trust. You get it. You’ve read Hallmark cards before.
3.)There is no secret to marriage. So you can stop asking the couples who have been married for 20, 30, or 60 years – what’s the secret to a successful marriage. The “secret” (truth) that they discovered is their own and you have to discover yours. Not to mention, the secret will change from day to day. I like the idea of soul mates and believe they exist on many levels in life, not just romantic. However, being soul mates is not what makes a marriage. The thing that makes marriage successful is continually doing the work! Working on yourselves and your relationship as necessary. Doing the work can be fixing what’s not working, working to maintain it, or working to make it better.
4.)Marriage is special because it’s unparalleled to any other adult relationship in your life. You can avoid your parents, limit interaction with your neighbor, break up with a boy/girl friend, hang out with friends sometimes, but you NEVER have to deal with life intermingling with anyone else as much as it does with a spouse. So you face things and have feelings that you don’t encounter elsewhere in your life. Sometimes that’s great. Sometimes that’s really hard to deal with because we build lives to surround ourselves with people who affirm who we are or who we wan to be. How dare a spouse point out our flaws!!! But recognize that they can point out what others either don’t see, don’t have to deal with, or didn’t marry.
5.) Having supportive (not perfect) couple friends / confidants is so necessary. No need to re-invent the wheel . Talking to people who you and your spouse both trust can create a space to vent, get objective feedback, and save you both from going to jail for murder or being declared insane.
Of all the lessons I’ve learned so far, marriage is definitely worth the investments and the rewards!!! It can help you grow into the better person you are meant to become and maybe didn’t even know existed!
Today was one of those days when my energy was low (insert Flo-rida’s voice….LOW, LOW, LOW, LOW!!!). I mean it drained me to lift a finger to use the mousepad on my laptop! If getting up to use the bathroom was not required….let’s just stop there!
So I did nothing…all day. But as a busybody, even in my nothingness (& my need to address my personal hygene) I still wanted to be productive in some way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very ok doing nothing (contrary to popular belief), but I also will not ignore my triumphant spirit.
So, my victory for today was that I showered! Take that chemo!!! You will not render me funky! And afterward I felt stronger, not 100% but as if my spirit had willed my body to recharge, try again, or turn the corner. Sometimes, it is using one avenue to awaken another that gets us through. And to celebrate (or to avoid ironing or gathering proper attire), I topped it off with a fav….my stupid lil Christmas tank top (yes, even though it’s August). Gotta love those things in life that, without clear understanding, bring you happiness! Who cares how or why??? They just do!
So cheers to being triumphant in small ways that count, the will of the spirit, & stupid little things that bring joy (adding my panda bear blinged out cell phone cover to the list)! Its has aaaaall made the difference in my perspective for today. What has made a difference in your day or in your perspective???
WHOOP WHOOP!!!! I’m on my way out to hang with a gal pal & we won’t let the rain or our long days & low energy stop us!!! We don’t know where we’re going (other than to eat), but we know in the next few hours we’ll be sitting across from each other at a small table – laughing, dishing, self-disclosing, and munching while catching up on all that we have or need to have going on in our lives. Lol.
I so cherish this time and am fortunate that I have more girlfriends than I have enough time to hang with. But we schedule and meet as best we can (and sometimes re-schedule). All dates aren’t glamorous. Sometimes it’s impromptu. Sometimes it’s on the couch whispering in low tones (because others – men in particular- are in the next room). Sometimes it’s seeing a show together, sitting in the park sipping lemonade in lawn chairs, shopping for make-up, or going for a run when we refuse to leave each other in unsexy land!
Because my cancer and chemo force me to be at home to recover, I have found that the girl squad I built looong before cancer knew my name is a HUGE part of what carries me through my circumstances today. Not a day goes by that one of my SUPERWOMEN friends doesn’t reach out to me in some form or fashion to see how I’m doing. It’s the getting together that reminds me who I am, how I love, what’s important, gives me space to let off steam, and relate to dynamic women while also allowing me to completely be the Jai I am not when I am in all my other roles (wife, daughter, sister, patient, ministry leader, employee, neighbor, and the list goes on). But not only do I get it, I try my best to be a great girlfriend to those I have in my life and those I meet. Always adding to my squad!
I share, not just to brag that my fem friends are the CREME DE LA CREME, but to hear your perspective of your own CDLC stats and to encourage you to build your squad if you don’t already have one. This goes for ladies and men. We all need people that we can get together with and laugh at silly jokes, share new resources, reminisce on old times, plot on future dreams, and feel liked, heard, validated, respected, or whatever it is you need a dose of at that time. Many other relationships and roles will fade in life, and none of us wants to end up eating cat food alone. So cheers to having a partner or two to dos-i-dos!
So??? Do you agree? Disagree? What’s your CDLC stat looking like? What’s your experience & your perspective on actively connecting to a great group of friends that make your life richer?
Soooooo, I did not tell a lie when I spoke of the crazy NYC stories that randomly occur! I recently found myself on the train again to get to an appointment more conveniently than it would have been to drive. So I grabbed my Crazy Train Lady mask & hopped on the iron horse! Again, I noticed the stares, avoidance, etc. So what! As long as I was protecting myself from the coughers, hackers, & germers, it was worth it. Right?!?
As I took a seat on the Shuttle, I was pretty sure I saw a flash go off from the phone of the guy sitting across from me ……as if he had just taken my picture in a creepy sneak attempt! I was stuck on pause. How should I proceed? Should I confront him? What power did I have in that moment to question, confront, & control what was happening without getting caught up in something crazy that would become ‘an incident’? The camera went off again as the guy took another picture of something / someone on the train. Was he really taking a bunch of random pics or was he trying to play it off that I just caught him trying to capture me in my crazy train lady attire???
At that same moment, I saw another guy standing over the pic taker….the stern overseer was looking hard at the phone of the creep pic taker (30-ish yr old white guy with jeans, a tee, glasses, & a Mets baseball cap) as he shifted awkwardly & mumbled to himself and continued fidgeting with his phone . The standing overseer was a heavier, sturdier, black male, also in his 30’s in jeans & a button down shirt that resembled outdoor bbq / picnic table festivities. We made eye contact. He read my thoughts. Had creepy guy taken a picture of me? He watched Creepy scroll through his phone & I waited for him to confirm…..It was like he was reading my mind! My subliminals were saying ‘Help a girl out & spy to tell me if Mr.Weirdo McCreep A Lot captured me in his phone, pleeease!’ His eyes said ‘I’m working on it …. buffering …. downloading …. uploading …. ding, ding, ding, ding!!! Houston we have a winner!’ The Overseer blurts out ‘Yo Sis, he took your picture!!!’
Well honey, that’s all I needed! Me: Did you take a picture of me??? Because I didn’t give you permission to take my picture & I don’t want to be in your phone! Creep: (stammer, stammer, hem, hem, haw, haw) No, I didn’t mean to. I was just taking pics of the train! Me (as I get up and stand over him in his space): Well can you delete it in front of me right now? Creep: Yeah, sure (fumbles through phone, avoids eye contact & nervously deletes as he tries to explain to the passenger next to who him who is trying to be neutral & polite – yet not really involved).
So just as I thought the Crazy Train Lady shenanigans were done for the day….The Brutha-Man Overseer did not want to let it go. His angst was clearly building as he rocked side to side. He was not done with the issue. Hence his outburst….. OverSeer: Yo, if it was me – I would have broke your fucking phone. I’m just letting you know, you know you don’t do that shit! Creep: (mumbles all sorts of awkward things but still avoids eye contact). This exchange repeated a few times with the same language and aggression. Finally, an outburst from Creepy: Just take my fucking phone, man. Just take it. I’m just gonna get the police! Take it! Take it! Overseer: I’m just saying…
And then there was silence. And out of the silence comes the randomness. Creepy: What’s your name, man? (as if he wanted to call a truce & be friendly) Overseer: (rolled his eyes & ignored Creepy as if to say pu-lease!!!).
And on that note…Thank God for my train stop coming up right on time! And thank God for safety provisions. Sheesh! So my perspective is that Crazy Train Lady situations can go any way. I’m grateful, but weirded-out how it went down this time. Glad it didn’t end up on the evening news. My perspective DID shift from this experience because I will admit to trying to sneak a pic of a stranger in public recently. I will not do it again. It’s a clear violation of privacy. Well at the very least, I’ll have enough decency in the future to turn off my flash & camera sound! Ha! A little hypocritical double-standard work in progress….but I’m working on it! It’s ALL a lesson in perspective! What’s YOUR perspective on all this?!?